Monday, December 9, 2013

Don't Apologize

My dad never gave advice.
 I always assumed it was because he was never good at it, but now I know 
that it’s because, when he does, it’s probably something that will be really useful to me. 
My dad lives a simple life. He doesn't take things too seriously. That’s why I believe he is so wise. 
I rolled my eyes when he constantly told me, “Don’t apologize.”
“Ugh, you’re such a man,” I told him time, and time again. 
That’s the thing about advice, if it has to be further explained, it provided you no real lesson. 
I didn't understand what he meant by this, until someone put it into 
perspective for me. She was talking about bullying. People will always find a reason to pick 
on other people. This does not make you any less of a person. 
You don’t owe anyone an apology for taking up
 space, and existing. Live your life how you want to, and never apologize to anyone. 
Now, we’re not saying if you wronged someone not to apologize. Don’t be a dick. 
Swallow your pride, and say you’re sorry. 
Never, ever apologize for who you are. If we were all the same, this 
world would be extremely boring. There would be no art, and no artists, musicians, nothing. 
Our differences make this world a beautiful, interesting place. 
I chose to make this post today because, every year when the Victoria’s secret Fashion show
 airs, I always see posts on social media about everyone wishing they looked different. 
If the show makes you feel bad, don't turn it on. It's that simple.
In the wise words of Oscar Wilde, 
“Be yourself, everybody else is already taken.” 
You don’t have to follow a ridiculous exercise regimen to feel good 
about yourself, and you don’t have to jump on the latest fad diet bandwagon. Just be you.
 Collar bones do not equal happiness. Strive to be the best version of you possible, not to be an imitated version of a Hollywood creation. 
In the December issue of Vogue,I read an article that was rather... 
Shocking, should I say? No, not shocking. Articles about fad diets don’t really shock me anymore, 
they’re more upsetting. Because, people believe them. And this is where issues arise. 
We need to stop telling people if they do this, or if they do that they 
will be slim, and beautiful. This can lead to serious eating disorders, 
especially in teens. Instead, we need to focus on encouraging people to
 embrace who they are in entirety. You are beautiful as you are. Embrace it. 
The article was talking about Intermittent Fasting, a diet focused on 
caloric restriction. If you can call it that. People live off about 30 
percent fewer calories than the recommended daily amount. 
“Those looking to live longer while wearing a size 2 have gone from 
avoiding certain foods-no gluten or dairy, please- to avoiding all foods.” 
That sounds like a recipe for disaster. That is not a diet, that is
 putting your body through starvation.
It says research shows that fasting for hours, instead of days tricks 
the body into thinking it’s starving- kicking in the benefits of caloric restriction without 
chronic deprivation.
People who severely restrict their calories, are more likely to binge 
eat as the day goes on. They get so hungry that they grab high calorie, high carb foods. 
Your body needs carbs for fuel. 
Eat three balanced meals a day. If you want to snack, snack. Avoid these fad diets. 
I don’t think they’re just dangerous to our physical health,
 but our emotional health as well.
If the fashion show will make you feel bad, don’t watch it.
 If an article in a magazine seems to push 
generated images, and lifestyles spit out of 
Hollywood, don’t read it. 
Be your own person, and most importantly, don’t apologize.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Societal Pressure Will Drown Us All

As a writer, lover of fashion, and sometimes media, I feel like this needed to be said. I haven’t seen it said yet, so I thought I would take it upon myself to be the first.
Lately; I’m thinking the pressure society places on us, will eventually kill us all given enough time.
            I’m not talking literally, I’m fully aware and accepting of the fact that we will all eventually die when it is our time.
            I mean I feel like our society has become one giant middle school, and no one can seem to graduate. Remember in middle school when you would be ostracized by your “friends” if you weren’t wearing Hollister jeans? Yeah, me too. And, that really sucked because, I have a big butt, and a size seven butt doesn’t fit into Hollister jeans. Plus, my size seven but didn’t want to be suffocated in Hollister jeans, anyway.
            More and more, we’re morphing into one exercise crazed, collar-bone obsessed, and vegan loving generation. Have any of us ever stopped to think do we actually like these things, or do we like it because, that’s all that we see in magazines?
            Just yesterday, I was scrolling through Instagram, and I saw a picture of a model, who was very skinny but, healthy. You know how some people naturally have small frames? On this picture were a wide range of comments from, “Oh My God, ew. She needs to put some meat on those bones!” “Eat A Cheeseburger!” “Perfect body.”
            One comment really disturbed me and stuck with me.
            “She has the perfect body. Like oh my god. I should just stop eating now, so I can look like this.”
            No. No. No. No.
            I clicked on the girl’s picture, and she looked just like me. A beautiful healthy weight. Which I take pride in being. I don’t need you to see my bones, unless you’re my doctor, and you’re looking at them on an x-ray.
            In this situation, I’m not sure who is at fault. Perhaps, one person is not entirely at fault, but, it’s a package deal.
            The media & businesses- I think it’s time that stores start using real women in their ads. Why is the media brainwashing girls to believe that the ideal body is one that is detrimental to our health? We were not made to have gaps between our thighs, or collarbones so distinct they could carve a turkey. We idealize this “dream” body that we all exhaust ourselves trying to achieve. How about instead of putting all our time into changing our bodies, we focus on loving the bodies we were given? Embrace your flaws. Everyone has them. If we were all made the same, this world would be a boring place, and fashion would not exist at all.
            Businesses that say that their clothes are exclusive for certain types of women, and banned for others should not be publicized at all. If you’re branding revolves around making people feel bad about themselves, you need a new marketing strategy. It’s not working for you.
            Parents: Encourage your kids! Growing up, my mom wanted to make sure my sister and I never had any issues with self-esteem. We both went through phases where we felt like we had to shop where all the “cool” kids where shopping, and look like the images on the TV. She ensured us that it was ok to shop wherever we wanted. And the bodies we were given are perfect the way they are, flaws and all.


Sunday, November 24, 2013

Life is too Important to be taken seriously

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
I came across this quote four years ago. I’ve lived by it ever since, all while 
dodging attacks about how “stupid” it is. Four years ago for most of most of my friends and I, we were at a cross roads in our lives. 
Freshman year in high school. You have the chance to reinvent yourself, grow into the person you 
always dreamed you would be. Except things happen that you don’t plan. Life. 
Many of the people we grew up with have changed to fit in with the “in” crowd.
 Those of us who didn’t change, often found ourselves hanging out alone. 
Influence. It’s a hell of a depressant. Sure, you may feel good at the moment,
 but when it wears off, the real problems are still there. 
You may feel good feeling accepted but,
 you will feel better if you stay true to who you are. 
In five years, no one will remember what you wore, and no one will care who 
you hung out with in high school or who you didn’t. 
Keep your eyes forward, because no one on the sidelines will ever matter, 
unless they’re cheering for you.
 I was thinking about this quote the other day, and why it means so much to me.
 I thought of my nanny.
 She enjoyed everyday of her life, but never took it too seriously. 
She always told me to find what I love, and go after it.
 She advised me not to get sidetracked by anything as silly as gossip 
or a so called “bad-day.”
People die  everyday. Some have died, but still roam the Earth. 
Roam the Earth, waiting for their physical bodies to be
 taken to the place we all go next. That is, if such a place exists. 
The moment we start taking all the little things too seriously, is when we go. 
There’s too much bad
 happening in this life to let every little obstacle break you. 
You have to pick and choose your breaking points. If you don’t,
 this life will drown you. 
When given the choice, because at some point, we all are, 
I hope you choose life.
Even if it kills you, you must live. 
Life is too important to be taken seriously.