Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Depression

Behind each work of art there’s a tortured soul, or a broken heart. Behind every tattoo there’s a story. When I get a work of art permanently printed on my body, I am not ashamed of that story, and I want to share it with the world.
I have always been fascinated with the idea of waves as a metaphor for life. Life is hard, and there’s no doubt about that. I think we will always be in the water. When things are good, we float, and the waves pass through us without much thought or struggle. On the other-hand, when things are bad, life sends us tumbling back to shore. With the waves over our head, we often find it difficult to get our head back above the water to catch our breath. The waves keep coming. They show no mercy.

I’ve been in the water for nearly my whole life. The waves will comes, and they will be rough. I find myself in an awkward tumble back to shore. Only in this scenario, the waves keep coming, and they do not break. I’m somersaulting underwater back to shore, and I cannot catch my breath. I fear I’ll lose my bathing suit, but that’s the least of my concerns. I fear I can only hold my breath for a little bit longer. The fight gets harder, and the breaths more desperate with each passing second.

Then, with no rhyme or reason, the waters calm. I cough up the water that threatened to drown my lungs, still tasting the salt, which will always remind me of the inevitable. They’ll be back.

I’m no Olympic swimmer, but I’ll be damned, if I give into the tides without putting up the fight of my life.

I think the waves on my foot serve as a beautiful reminder of the fight. Even though the cycle will never fully disappear, it reminds me that the waters will calm again. Now, when the waves linger over my head like a bad nightmare, I get ready to swim like hell and ride that wave back to shore, before it takes me in itself. These waves are a part of me. They will never subside, but as time goes on, I’m teaching myself how to float, to drift over these demons.

Often times people don’t know how to help a loved one struggling with their inner demons. If you have never dealt with depression yourself, it makes sense that you don’t understand. One can never truly empathize, until they experience the situation first-hand. The first thing you need to know is that the age-old words of wisdom including “just cheer up,” “get over it,” and “time heals all wounds” don’t apply here.

Depression is not something one can control and depression is not something you can explain. You can have it all, or you can have nothing at all. Depression doesn’t discriminate. Your whole body shuts down, and your mind is working against you. As a result, your whole world collapses, and you can’t even imagine how to pick up the pieces.

Happiness is only a conscious choice when your body physically has the ability to be happy. Sometimes, you’re in a fight against yourself, and sometimes, that’s the worst battle of all.

Sometimes the only thing you can do for someone struggling from depression is to be there for them. Even if they’re not willing or able to talk, stay on the phone, sit in the room, and keep your arm around them. Just having someone there makes the load a whole lot easier. Loving someone may not be enough to pull someone out of their depression, but it’s important that you do it anyway.

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