"What fascinates me about addiction and obsessive behavior is that people would choose an altered state of consciousness that's toxic and ostensibly destroys most aspects of your normal life, because for a brief moment you feel okay."-MobyAddiction is an unreliable bitch, and that's just a fact of life. Often times, people are quick to put down those suffering from addiction, like it's something they can control. Be gentle with your tongue before you go pointing fingers, and look inward, because we're all addicted to something, some of us may be addicted to a few things. And we all think it's harmless.
Drugs: caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, weed, pills, exercising, even something as seemingly innocent as love. Once you get it, you get high off the attention, and only crave more. Love, arguably is the worst of them all- the gateway drug.In dealing with addiction, you're at the mercy of your own mind. That sage wisdom to "just snap out of it," doesn't work too well here, if ever. You're your own worst enemy, and no one can unravel you from the ropes you're entangled in, except yourself.
Something I've been blessed with this year is an abundance of empathy. Although I don't think I have ever lacked the quality, but just suffering from a lack of logic. Many people I have loved, and still do, have become monsters at the hands of addiction. I never quite understood why, so I foolishly blamed it on their own choices.
Loser. Get a grip. Get your life together. How sad.These are things we all may have thought at some point or another about someone we know, or maybe even about ourselves.
I hope I'm not being misunderstood. I am no psychologist, but I am a professional thinker, which I often attribute to being one of my fatal flaws.
From what I understand, and have witnessed in relation to addiction, there are three thing which I believe to contribute to the root of addiction:
1. Safety- This is where the "Unreliable Bitch" part comes into play. Those suffering from some form of addiction whether is be alcohol, drugs, or the most potent-love, use it is as their safety net. In general, people do not want to deal with unpleasant things. If you have something that helps you to forget about life for a little while, whether it be minutes, hours, or days- you will probably welcome that thing with open arms. Whatever it is, it helps you deal with reality, which at times can be unbearably painful. Except, what is disguised as comfort to you, may be disguised as a disgrace to other people. While your addiction comforts you, it repels people away from you. You keep your addiction close, and people at a distance. The addiction serves as a wall that temporarily blocks out all things unpleasant, while potentially blocking out wonderful things as well. If you were truly happy, you wouldn't need an artificial drug to bring you to life. Rock bottom is a dark place, but only gets darker when you coat it with chemicals.
Addiction is rooted out of fear of having open eyes to the world in front of you. Whatever your scared of, dealing with it will be the most empowering feeling in the world. If you can get over your deepest fears, you can surely handle any challenge that comes your way. And you can. You just need to take the first step.
The fear of falling often blocks people from stepping out of their comfort zone. If you never leave your comfort zone, you are going to be stuck in that box forever. The only opportunities that will come to you will be other people's left overs. If you fall, get back up. If you fail, try again. If you loved, and got your heartbroken, love again.
Take a deep breath, and deal with your reality. Let down the walls, and let people in. If your scared, ask for help. If you're scared, you know you're alive.
2. Desperation- This is a fast paced world, and it's common for people to feel lonely. Everyone has their own routine, and sometimes you just don't feel as appreciated as you would like to. People may not be as comfortable with words as you wish they were, and attention may be divided.
A cry for help. Testing the water to see if someone reaches out with a life raft. Does someone care enough to stop you? Sure they do.
No matter what your situation may be, you will always have so many people who love and care about you. Open your eyes and your heart and accept their love.
If people are not reaching out to you, reach out to them. Before you go searching for validation in something artificial, look for validation inside yourself. You deserve to have happiness and you deserve to have love.
Most importantly, if you love someone who isn't treating you right, don't be scared to walk away. Being mistreated or under appreciated is something no one should ever get used to. Forced love is not love. Never settle for anyone and never lower your expectations just because the person that you love cannot meet them. Sometimes we fall in love with the idea of a person. This idea skews the reality of who they really are, ignoring their flaws, and putting them on a pedestal of our false expectations. Kick them off the pedestal, and one day your prince or princess will come along and take their rightful seat.
3. Control- Life is hectic. And that's fair, because it's that way for everyone. Don't think it is discriminating against you, giving you all of the world's problems. Many people search to control things like alcohol or food just to say they have total control over one aspect of their life. But, no. Life will not have that. Strict control often spirals desperately out of control, and you will not have hold of the reigns for very long.
Accept things for what they are. Do not over-react to things you cannot control. You cannot control other people's actions, the weather, the traffic, etc. Breathe. Accept it for what it is, and move past it.
This life will be full of bumps and curves, and that is the only guarantee you are promised. Roll with the punches, and adjust safely and accordingly.
If I misunderstood before, I apologize, but feel grateful that I have a better understanding now. Before you jump to conclusions and judgments, it is essential that you search to gain a deeper understanding of what may lye on the surface.